*Huge amount of thanks goes to Olly who featured my post about media in his blog <3*

There are many people who have stable and healthy relationship with tracking their data. I am not one of them.

And exactly the tracking lies in the heart of both Goodreads (to be honest, in any comparable application/website) and smartwatches. They allow one to look back on personal performances be it number of pages read or hours slept. This drove me mad.

I had been using Garmin for years solely for sleep&sport stuff, like steps done, km ridden, calories burnt, stages of sleep. The more sport I did, the more anxiety I got from all this data. There was even no need to compare the stats with other people, my own numbers had made me feel quite inadequate. The anecdote goes, that once you wake up in a good mood and then look at your watch, that aggressively says your sleep was garbage, you believe it. At least, I did. And this small thing could ruin the whole day. And it did it way too often.

The same goes for Goodreads. Pressure to read more, and now due to gamification and challenges to read specific books, can quickly spiral one down. I generally dislike social media, but the one with embedded competition is a nightmare. The quality of books made way for the quantity and this is a known problem. People want to hit their reading goal, tis natural. At one point it is highly likely that it becomes the sole purpose, though. You read to complete or compete and not to enjoy. 

Data in general can be abused for flexing. There are no tangible metrics for things like humour and kindness, but there are numbers of watts while pedalling or how many book you can finish in a month. This gives feeling of accomplishment and worthiness, while we all forget that the numbers give us only the part of the part of the part of the jumbled puzzle. There are instances where a good Garmin is necessary for serious training, or a reading statistics helping to maintain personal archive. These things are not inherently bad but neither are they good. These are tools. 

One of the problems of our society’s that tools change their role and become ubiquitous. I bet you cannot imagine, how people used to live without smartphones. Or how they rode bikes without GPS. Or how they stayed fit without knowing HRV. I asked myself these questions and got some funny insight - sometimes we invent problems to sell solutions. Is it really nice to have a gimmick on your wrist that bullies you to move? Yes, but the trade in is losing the ability to hear one’s own body. Does having a proof of reading 100 books/year elevate your social status? On the platform itself and social media probably yes as well. But is boosting your ego constantly seriously makes your life better? After being stuck in this situation, my answer is no, those are not long-term benefits. 

Do I suggest that you ditch your Garmin for a Casio as I did it? Nope 🙃

Is the aim of the article to make you delete your Goodreads account? Again, nope 🙈

But I wish that more people could genuinely ask themselves, why they use this or that thing. What does it bring? And if one notices stress and rising anxiety, that they could pinpoint the stuff that sips the fun out of life. For me it was all kind of stats. The only number I am a slave to is my salary, and it is more than enough in this timeline.

I get all my articles via local library on Libby or PressReader. As a press junkie, those sources are a blessing, VÖBB, I love you 🤟 

The Old Guard by Samuel Moyn (Harper’s)

There is a common problem in politics - too many old men in power. It shouldn’t be necessarily the government, though it is, but also the voters and those who have amassed a certain amount of wealth and thus gatekeeps change. The article focuses on the USA, but the same situation can be seen around the world. I have observed it in Germany many times. Quite scary, actually.  The people who run the show they have no stakes in anymore (sorry if it sounds harsh) are, unfortunately, not allowing younger people into decision-making. Look out of the window to notice the consequences. 

Celebs’ irritating book clubs (The Economist)

Long story short - famous faces sell. Parasocial relationships are real and we somehow tend to trust the celebrities, like Dua Lipa, to tell us which books are good. And they turn a solitary hobby into a social one.

Sorry, I did not like this article, as I don’t understand the hype behind celebrities trying so hard to carve themselves the status of intellectuals. Well, now I sort of understand, but still cannot accept it. 

En Bretagne, suivez le druide by Guillame Tion (Liberation) ❤️

What promised some serious beef with people who abuse RSA (welfare system in France) turned out to be a very deep and fascinating dive into contemporary Druid culture. Yes, there is such a thing!

On the first look, these people do not fit into a neoliberal order we all suffer from right now, but as I always say in recent years, the worth of a person should not be determined by productivity.  These druids create a community free of charge, but the price is honesty and devotion to the cause. 

Was really happy to read this one!

Le big bang du diagnostic tardif by Cécile Deffontaines (L’Obs)

Topic that has hit home - last year I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 29. The article focuses on people above 40, but we all have the same problems. Having it hard to fit in even in one’s own family, not knowing what is wrong, seeking answers - been there, absolute hell. Something tells me, that the more common diagnostics can become, the more people will find out, that they are neuroatypical. Can’t wait for the discourse to shift, because the contemporary status quo of the world leaves us overboard. 

Guardian writes about cars being not a good thing for anybody.

Instead of the article, I can wholeheartedly recommend the YouTube channel of CGN - Cycling global Network. They have already made several reportages (I’d rather call them documentaries) about this problem with a particular stress on bikes vs cars. I have also found a book on this topic: “Life after cars” by Sarah Goodyear and Doug Gordon. Haven’t had the chance to read it, but looks promising. Fuck cars (with exceptions, of course, I am not naive).

GCN 1 and 2 videos

Eurovision 2026 🎶

You can hate it as much as you want, but I have been a ESC aficionado since 2004. I was bloody 8 year old back then. Yes, most of the songs are that bad. Yes, it is political. Both things have always been there. I am there for the show and music, as some songs live in my playlist rent-free ever since I heard them during the finale. I never watch the semis and never listen to the songs before, this is a tradition. And yes, I might sleep on 31.12, but I will never sleep on the Eurovision night. 

Not ashamed of it, even proud. So let’s move to some observations (man, I even made notes this year!!):

Vienna is a very rich city in terms of culture, so it wasn’t surpising to see the orchestra. Plus with the recent scandal when a young prominent Hollywood actor said something stupid and everybody took it out of context, there were many instances with opera clearly influencing the songs (take France or Romania plus several overs). Music in the Postcard section was a piece of art and I’d love to find it!

All in all, this year wasn’t particularly strong, some entrances were decent in terms of choreography, some had strong vocals (Poland!) and refreshing messages (UK). My problem is, that many songs overall are being created to become torn up by TikTok edits, so that they do not sound coherently anymore. But this is Grandma in me speaking, it is just a new form of culture, which is inevitable. 

A good thing: more and more countries decide to ditch singing in English and it works perfectly! Albanian number and lyrics made me cry, that hasn’t happened for a while. This is the diversity I personally ask for:

The presenters:

M: talks about rules in French

S: I couldn’t have said it better!

M: Si!

Eurovision, apart from huge problems, is about a night full of partying and legacy. 70 years of it. You can boycott it, you can snobbishly say, that the composers of 19th century would have had a heart attack, but Eurovision is still there. There are still people like me, who Shake It once a year in May. It is emotional and I want it to stay this way.

P.S. the memes on Reddit rose to the occasion before the livestream was ended :D

P.P.S. Had more time this week and watched the French adaptation of Monte-Christo (2024) - they have changed things that did not age well and left the rest with love alone. Highly recommended!

So, after testing this idea for a week, I can assure you that we are sticking to it.

Idea: read books on specific topic for 3 months (a quarter of a year, fiscally speaking) 

I have amassed a number of books on Christianity because of curiosity. My English tutor did his job very well and “converted” me to atheism at the tender age of 12. The culprit was the book “Gadfly”. The train of thought was simple: if the institution was so evil, then the idea behind it (the religion) is meaningless. I have developed a more profound understanding of this world-view since, but curiosity remained. Nothing to justify or to defend, but the cultural and societal impact of Christianity is enormous to this day. 

Thus I have decided to pick several books on this topic and read only those in the upcoming months. As a classical mood reader, this is quite a challenge. On the picture you might notice “I”, as the first thematic quarter, but perfectionism is not welcomed here, so we’ll see, how it works long-term, will there be a "II"? Plus 3 months are arbitrary, I don’t really care how long it might take. This is a passion project, not a prison sentence. 

I started with the general overview by Diarmaid MacCulloch (thank God - pun intended - this is a blog and not a YouTube channel, as I have no idea how to pronounce the name of this really formidable scholar) and have managed to read through the first 3 chapters this week: the impact of Antiquity, the impact of Judaism and the story of Jesus. This non-fiction is a piece of art, I am laughing out loud when the author allows jokes. But the scope is mind-blowing, though it is clear, that if one wants to go deeper, one needs to read additional literature. So it happens that my ebook hoarding finally bears fruit. 

There are two particular areas that are of great interest for me: Papacy and History&Culture. Can’t explain how it happened. 

Anyway, will continue reading and sharing progress here, stay tuned, if you want :)

P.S. Upon googling the pronunciation of Diarmaid MacCulloch‘s name, I stumbled upon his BBC documentaries. It will be cheating to watch them now, so I’ll finish his book first. But hey, I now know how to say his name correctly!

I almost never buy physical books anymore. The only exception: they are not available as ebooks, which mostly concerns literature in my mothertongue. What's more, some of those books are written and published by "enemies of the state". In this case, I never think twice:

And, as a rule of thumb, it is preferable to buy indie, so I order such precious paper bricks at Babel Books Berlin. The hand-written card is always there and it makes me believe in humanity again, such small and nice gesture!

The book on the left is the second updated edition of a non-fiction by an iranist about Iran. I read the first one a couple of years ago and want to see how much has changed. The one on the right is about British fantasy, once my special interest at high school. This book is visually absolutely stunning, no regrets that it has no ebook format.

This "haul" stands no comparison with those done on booktok and booktube, but it has indescribable value.

Late to the party, but I have just catch up with the second trailer for the upcoming myth adaptation and it looks like they have decided to h&m everything. Visually bland; casting with their American accents is, I do beg you pardon, generic; the snippets of writing in the trailer sounds more like a ChatGPT trying too hard. If you have recently (in the last 10-15 years) been to H&M or any fast fashion shop or website, you might have noticed many shades of beige and grey with façons being copy-pasted across market.

Original Odyssey is fun. Odyssey is adventure. Odyssey is gods being gods and humans being humans, and sometimes gods being like humans, too. If you have never read Homer, I highly recommend the audiobook by Stephen Fry, he did it justice. His whole quadrilogy did Ancient Greece justice. In comparison, I doubt that Nolan will include the part where Odysseus had to wear a dress of a princess. The audacity of the probability of skipping it, but I just don’t have the faith anymore. Heroes in dresses and the long faces do not go hand in hand, unfortunately.

Don’t know about you, but I would like to see colour, passion, remarkable characters instead of another reincarnation of Game of Thrones in its last-seasons-dying-agony. Sometimes art is not about pretentiousness, like the more serious something is, the more credibility it deserves. NO. Bronze Age was distinct - just go and check any suitable museum’s archive. Homer‘s (or whoever actually did it) story will live on, while this movie will be forgotten by the end of summer.

Rant over, thank you for your time!

There has been an idea going on in my head for some time: what if instead of just consuming media, I collect it and write about in on Sunday. Let’s try.

die Zeit (🇩🇪)

There is a very interesting interview with Paolo Benanti, the technological advisor to the Pope. The main idea is quite simple: the technology is fine, but the abuse of it by people needs to be addressed. The premise was, who could have thought, the American president and his misuse of AI-generated pictures, that have long crossed the border of blasphemy (this guy will be mentioned later once again, sorry).

As a hardcore atheist, I can’t help but have some interest in what has been happening in Vatican. A side-note: the comparison in media of the first year of Pope Leo and the first year of Friedrich Merz’s chancellory is a subject in itself. Go, Pope, I guess at this point. Tomorrow I am starting a 3-month project about reading everything I have on Christianity. Again, I am an atheist albeit a curious and an open-minded one. 

the Guardian (🇬🇧)

A very funny article on the visit of King Charles III to the former colonies. The bell from HMS Trump as a gift and the “And should you ever need to get hold of us, well, just give us a ring”. Pure British humour, and I mean it as the highest compliment. 

How come that the world made such a turn, that a monarch (Guardian spares no criticism btw) has to talk about democracy in a manner of a school headmaster. But it can happen in a timeline, where an elected leader thinks himself a king/emperor/God. Trump has no respect for anybody, we know that much, but his childish adoration for an institution where choice of participants is based on pure luck and genetics is astounding. That reminds me of how post-soviet boomer generation has undying love either for Stalin’s dictatorship or the tsars themselves. Not a single critical thought - pure emotion. 

The stark difference between the reception in the White House and the mood in New York further dives into the contemporary ideological divide. TikTok star (I do like his videos) and the Mayor of New York holds true to the principles of the Fathers of the American Constitution, by telling that if have had a chance, he would have asked Charles to return Koh-i-noor diamond from the Tower of London to India. I imagine such conversation being potentially rather awkward for some of the party. But hey, despite Charles being not that bad, the times have changed, maybe one day the diamond will be returned at last.

In the end the author of the article David Smith (the most British name ever, ironically) had to deliver the final punch in the face of Trump that was pure joy to read.

YouTube: Meduza (rus: there is no emoji with a white-blue-white colour)

An interview about social media with a developer who worked on the mobile side of aforementioned platform. Logically, he was in between of pride and shame. On the one hand, back in 2007 nobody could predict how algorithms on mobile platforms will turn us into slaves. On the other hand, he noticed very (and I mean it - VERY) early, how dangerous it is for the children to be left alone with tech unsupervised, just because parents are tired. 

Don’t know what to think there, the history will judge the big tech later, though the first glimpses of condemnation are started to appear.

📚: “London Falling” by Patrick Radden Keefe

I do not like true crime more because of the ethical uncertainty about being curious of gory stories, but this book is different. We all have seen the meme with the guy and the red threads suggesting a conspiracy. Well, justifiably, there is sort of one surrounding the death of a 19-year-old young Londoner. I have no desire to spoil anything from the book, just know, that is is an extremely deep dive into the milieu of con-artists and the influence we have from the ultra-wealthy and from damned social media. It might sound like a salad of topics, but it is immensely well-written. You might want to save time and read the original article in The New Yorker, but this book is definitely worth your attention.

I adore how she makes everything herself! The atmosphere of darkness and tragedy, the light, the poses, she is amazing! Her initial idea was the collar and somebody wrote that they see Elizabeth I, which is undeniable. However, I cannot unsee something of the Mary Queen of Scots, so for me it might be both in the end.

Hence, the blood.

Could not resist to draw, but that doesn’t do this lady justice

p.s. No AI, just Procreate and a bunch of True Grit brushes

There is a small lifehack to use in my library: twice a week or so, they massively add new books. First came first served principle. Otherwise, it’ll take weeks to get some of those books, if not months. So, I diligently look through the “newest added” section. Today those 3 were added and I have downloaded them on my Pocketbook. If you look at the screenshot, in pinkish red are the prices for Kindle (I didn’t check kobo store or ebooks.com, but it can’t be very far apart). 56,45€. The library card is 10€ per year.

Yeah, no conclusions needed here 🥸

p.s. 99 ways has been on my wish list for a while, so I am glad even more

Today Tour de France is a commonplace name for human endurance. You might not ride a bike, but you have heard about this elite competition. Well, in the beginning of the twentieth century it used to be brutal. Seriously brutal.

I first encountered the topic of early Tour de France on a GCN YouTube channel, where they recreated a stage of 1903 on original vintage bikes. It is worth watching, especially for the thoughts on how, even today, on good tarmac and with contemporary gear, like light (or bibs), it is an extremely hard enterprise. 

watch GCN video here

Now, imagine 1910, with the state-of-the-art bikes, that will not qualify today even for a commute in the city, unsupportive (mildly understated) organisers, over 4000 kilometres in three weeks in horrible weather and road conditions, and you will scratch the surface of how mad this race used to be. 

Nicolas Debon tries to convey the hardship of 1910 in frames as short as breath of a cyclist going uphill. He introduces the major contestants and their rivalry, the forces of nature these Giants had to endure, and the psychological toll too much to bear sometimes. "Murderers!" cries one of them to the organisers, and murderers these were. Circling the hexagon, as France is known, with the ever-changing terrain and climate, with inhumane rules and severe road conditions - we cannot fathom it today. 

One of the topics that particularly caught me off guard, is the further fate of the winners and other racers. When the first to places of the race in 1903 made it to their sixties, Louis Octave Lapize (1st place) and François Faber (2nd place) along with many others, did not make it to their thirties. The Great War claimed the Great Men. 

They are called Giants for a reason.

​Как-то раньше всегда считалось, что библиотека - это исключительно о книгах. О пыльных томах с наклейкой на корешке. О полках за полками в алфавитном порядке. 

Ну, 2026 год показывает, что библиотека - это нечто большее. Собрание медиа во всех смыслах как минимум: недавно я открыла для себя портал для чтения прессы (на всех своих языках!) с потрясающим выбором, включая региональные газеты из Великобритании и Франци. Чтение сделано по принципу: PDF-формат с ссылками на обычный текст, что невероятно удобно! А вчера увидела на главной странице берлинской библиотеки новость, что один новый фильм доступен специально для ее абонентов на сайте, о котором я не слышала. Это сайт отказался по выбору чуть ли не лучше сервиса Mubi с авторским кино. Фильмы доступны в оригинале с немецкими субтитрами. Попробую на неделе что-нибудь там посмотреть, если интернета хватит.

Еще, кстати, можно подписаться на одну американскую библиотеку не живя в Штатах, чтобы получить доступ к их книгам на английском, фильмам и прочим классным штукам. 

Отдельного поста заслуживает тема, как иногда хочется азартно подождать 4-6 недель книгу на Libby (там где я читаю библиотечные книжки и аудиокниги), чем покупать оную. 

(note: I did not watch the launch live, time difference is too big)

Can’t believe it has finally happened. How many times was the launch postponed. How many decades have we talked about it being even necessary and possible. Amazing.

I wish the astronauts a safe journey there and back again!

For the last weeks I have been marathoning the books of Stephen Fry about Ancient Greek Myths. The order is completely jumbled as I get the audiobooks from the library on Libby (VÖBB in Berlin gets a shoutout every time!). Today I have started the 3rd book about Troy, after completing and thoroughly enjoying Odyssey and Myths. And boy Mr. Fry makes mood better with his voice alone! 

Looking forward to Achilles!

p.s. E-reader on the photo is my most prized possession after the gravel bike: Viwoods AI Reader, will write about it and my other liseuses later

(The shortlist has been announced, and features six books that reverberate with history, humanity, heartbreak and hope - thebookerprizes.com)

Первые мысли:

ого, She who remains, мне очень понравилась эта книга! Перевод с болгарского о девочке (а потом выросшей женщине), которая для своего отца была больше сыном, чем дочерью (и на то были причины!). Для отца все кончилось плохо, потому что нравы албанской деревни слишком кровожадные, но для героини все кончилось отлично. Heartbreak

ого, Кельманн, вот у него есть неплохой шанс в этот раз. В прошлый он тоже попал в шорт-лист со своим Тиллем. Если география не будет преградой (Дженни Эрпенбек только пару лет назад что-ли взяла приз), то это была бы премия за заслуги. Я жду книгу в библиотеке, потому что меня смущает количество страниц в переводе, настолько их меньше, чем в немецком или даже в свежем русском переводе. History

ого, Ндияйе, вот это продолжение бесстыжества, потому что ее книга выйдет только 07.04, я все жду свой предзаказ электронной версии. Hope, I guess? Ну, судя по аннотации, а не по ситуации. Оригинала на французском нет в электронной версии, кстати. Вообще.

Вторые мысли: 

Две книги, которые я не собиралась читать вошли в шорт-лист. И я все равно не буду их читать. Про Тегеран все еще думаю, начало странное (первые параграфы отличные, а вот потом что-то-как-то-ну-не-знаю)

Четыре книги, которые мне понравились, не вошли в шорт-лист. За итальянца обидно, сильный роман, но я рада, что узнала о новом для себя издательстве. За Энара тоже обидно, как и за Равн, но это достаточно известные имена. Шведская писательница тоже выдала отличную книгу, но общество еще не готово к теме несправедливости денег в современный литературе, дайте людям два-три года на медленном огне. 

Третьи мысли:

Хз на кого ставить, Букер относительно непредсказуем, но и там есть паттерны. Дождусь предзаказ Ведьмы и подумаю. Эта премия совсем не о переводах, она больше о социально-политических болячках, которые ноют у читающей публики. Раньше мне эта вся тема очень нравилась, но теперь я буду использовать лонг-лист, как источник о новых для себя издательствах.